The ringing,
The fire!
This blaze which consumes.
Blind as I am,
I can see
The blurred marks on paper,
Nonsense,
Words vomited with careless exuberance.
I can't think,
Only feel,
Feel my way through the infinite world.
Swimming
Through the immensity of space
Home.
My instincts guide me through the fog
Home.
I'm crazy, beer-battered,
Filled with random drives.
I slept three hours;
Now my mind sleeps again.
Nothing is real,
Nothing.
Not me, not them,
No-one.
Thoughts are ghosts
Dreaming awake.
Oh, I'm going to pass out.
Beer, thou foam of night.
I've drunk and sink
Into midnight.
I can't write
Very much more
Shit like this.
Must sink down into stuporous bliss.
Oh, waves of golden ice,
Wrap me around and around
In the ancient ignorance of childhood.
Let me expire
Like a dumb little doll
On my soft bed.
My muse needs to piss,
Piss out all the bitterness of life,
Disappointments,
Bullshit of the world,
Questions of life and death.
They're all the same anyway
Where I stand now.
Barely alive
Yet I scribble.
Nature doesn't do this
Very often anyway,
Make me feel like nothing is real.
Only alcohol does that.
And now I must piss...
Don't want to think.
It hurts too much.
Don't want to move;
I just don't want to do shit!
I think I'll just pass out...
George Chadderdon © 1993