Carpe Diem!

Seize the day!
When pants are running low,
When the sheets smell like a thousand-and-one
     Arabian nights,
When the underwear is weeping in your laundry bag,
When socks are lusting to be entered
     By fresh, morning-showered feet.

Seize the day!
As you enter the fragrant battlefield
Where shirts and pants are whirled around in pagan dance.
Occupation is the name of the game!
Deploy your clothes like Roman eagles
Into the open machines
Before the other poor devils can.
Stake your claim!
The early bird can capture the entire field
Before the other sorry bastards with their
White plastic baskets
Can arrive to thwart you with their
     Smelly socks and soiled underwear.
A single mission of reconnaissance—
     A drop of cleansing chemical agents near the targets—
          And then a blitzkrieg;
That is my advice.
Should you fail, your task may take
     Twice as long
Forcing you to double your interruptions,
     Your runs of the gauntlet of mothers and wives,
And dudes puffing atrocious-smelling cigars.
Time is the essence!
Victory means
     Getting it all done
          As soon as possible.

George Chadderdon © 1999