Relieving myself, I feel an itch.
Trying to wipe it off, it's no use.
Looking down at the toilet paper,
Little red spots; the itch gets worse.

Walking into class, scratching all the way.
Sit down at my desk, my mind on my tail.
Teacher rambles on, but to no avail,
Waiting for the end of the period to visit the bathroom.

Toilet to toilet, class to class.
Hemorrhoids are a pain in the ass.

George Chadderdon c. 1987-1989